I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
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