So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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