I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize