even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
