We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
