Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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