sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
