I puked a lego.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
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