i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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