thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize