Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
