I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
