just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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