How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
