His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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