Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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