Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize