turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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