Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
This is my life. Enjoy the view
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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