Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I've blown a few things in my day
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
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Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
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Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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