Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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