could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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