Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
