ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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