I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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