ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
