I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
two words...techno handjob
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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