Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
