grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
