He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
