your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
dude. I can hear the air.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
