she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
