You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
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My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
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Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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