none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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