You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
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