It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
