You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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