You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
