im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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