What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
