We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
she told me i tasted like america
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
