Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
