Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
