He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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