i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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