I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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