tell your sister to shave her snatch
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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