none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
