if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
