it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize