well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
