normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
