I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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