dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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