This is not my ceiling
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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