just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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