When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
