Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
The beer is more important than you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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