Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Someone came in the potted fern
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
